I was pacing my house when I thought to call you. It’d be my third time and that was definitely breaking a rule in the player’s manual. You were supposed to see me soon. You had plans for me— for us– me being person one and two. You do the math. But then you were on vacation, so you said. I tried not to be jealous or inquisitive. But my mind did wonder, “With who?” I didn’t wonder long, my pimp hand strong. I was super confident. You texted me and told me you’d hit me back when you returned to your room. “Wow”, I thought, “So he’s on a real vacation.” I threw my phone and got back to basics.
I need new hoes. I keep telling myself.
However, one text message, one voicemail but several days later, still no call. You were supposed to see me soon. You had plans for me— for us– me being person one and two. I was baffled. I must admit, my phone not being called was a first experience for me. I mean, the way you clung to my hips with your arms and your lips, I just knew you were better than this. Damn, I must be losing my touch.
Definitely need new hoes.
I sat and enjoyed my mozarella sticks. There was a break in the girl talk, I thought of you. I still can’t believe this shit! A part of me was concerned. I mean, the nigga must be bleeding somewhere if he hasn’t called. He better be, shit!
I broke down and called. Curiousity killed the cat. I don’t even know why I cared– I blame my disbelief. Second ring– answer. WOW, really? My voice was as cool as a summer breeze in 85 degree weather on a person holding some ice cold kool-aid. (LOL)
Me: Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, like that though? (fuck a hello, right?)
Him: Whassup baby…
Me: Oh you are too smooth… how are you… is everything okay? Last we spoke you were on vacation? I havent heard from you… thought something happened.
Him: Nah baby, you know me. Everything good wha—
Me: Oh no, everything better not be good. (I laughed) At first I was like oh shit, he’s playing me. Then I was really worried and thought something happened. You better be bleeding somewhere. See, thats the shit. The honeymoon is over, I see. Where’s the luv, baby?
Him: What??? Nah you know I’m crazy about you.
And yadda yadda. I’m telling you. It’s the cool shit. The ones ignoring all the females in the room. The ones that never raise their voice. The ones that don’t respond to me raising mine. It’s them. How could I try to act hurt or mad when the laughter and smile was in my tone? That damn cool shit. He went on to ask me if I was seeing him this weekend. You were supposed to see me soon. You had plans for me— for us– me being person one and two.
I went on to say hell no. More like HAYLE NO. It aint THAT easy.
He asked “Huh? Why? What I gotta do?”
I’m like, “Nah baby, it’s what you should have done. Maybe next time you won’t let my shit collect dust.”
Come on y’all, can’t break all the rules in the Pimps && Players Handbook on one hoe. NEVER baby. But I’m glad he’s cool… Now, I can put his ass back on the track. 😉