Speaking to you provides this cool. And I’m not a cool female.
I mean, I keep it cool, but mellowing out is not always my option. To you, everything is effortless. Nothing is to be worried about. Never a need to raise your voice. We smile through drama. We smile alike. You tell me you miss me, “baby”. Ha. Always baby. I enjoy being flattered so I return your happy tone.
“I’m ready to see you… soon. So what up?”
“Umm… soon? I was thinking more like later…”
“What will it take to see you…?”
Nothing is ever to be worried about. You offered to get me a crib, supply the whip, all I have to do is be there. Stay there and I’ll be all set- you assure me. But I’m not sure. I enjoy the offering, but the independence in me will not allow me to accept.
“I’ll have to see whassup with my girls—”
“Why? If I’m here you’re good. All you have to do is show up.”
The cool in your voice is disappearing. You’re all business. It shocks me.
I’m silent. Me? Silent?
“Well, we’ll talk about it and see…”
“Just figure it out and then I’ll get it paid for within the next week or so.”
He’s serious. A part of me is giddy- child-like grin. The adult in me is nervous as hell. This is not my swag. I’m more so the flaunt my ‘see it, like it, want it, own it’ mentality. Damn, its a recession. 🙂 Still the curiousity in me cant help but crack a smile. The thought of making new secrects provide an adrenaline high.
Thrill me baby.
Afterall, nothing is to be worried about.
Now… to go or not to go… that is the question.
And going or not, is something I’m worried about.