Feels so good while you’re having it, but so bad for your health.
I try not to be swayed by public opinion. I learned long ago to stay to myself. To stay out of the streets. I used to stay by a corner dice game. Stay laid back in the passenger seat. Now, I stay home. I threw my towel in.
It was fast. It was bumpy. I enjoyed it.
I’d be lying if I said, “I didn’t enjoy the ride”. However when the walls start to crumble, when characters are written out of the script, when too many extras are casted and when the boat is sinking; you can only looked out for one person— yourself. I needed to look out for me, FIRST. It needed to be about me and only one person was willing to do that. I was living your tale. The plot was centered around you. I needed to be more than a supporting actress even if I am the one nominated for the Oscar.
So I left the house before the walls fell, my character made a discreet exit from the screenplay, and I jumped off of the boat. You were killing me. I was dying. I saved myself. I went away. I watched from a far.
Why?
At the end of the day, I realized. Where I need to be, I simply just not where you are.
Filed under: Let me spit this pimpin
Besides. You better know how to eat, before you even think to ask to be fed.
Filed under: Ladies Moment, Let me spit this pimpin, On a Serious Note...
So I’m on Twitter. I love when females get self-righteous on Twitter. It can be disheartening when they are unrealistically adament about their point. So, I’ve composed a list of a 5 things females need to stop lying to themselves about.
1. I don’t share men.
This is a lie. You can only make that statement if you are positive that you have never ever been cheated on. If you have, you have shared. Period. Especially, if you forgave him. Some will say, “No he was mine, she just got to use him…” or something of the sort. Lil Mama, you shared. You may not have liked it. You may not do it willingly, but you do. So shut up and/or rephrase your motivational speech so that you’re keeping it 100. Thanks.
2. I don’t play 2nd.
This is the BIGGEST lie of them all. If you have ever fucked a man with a girl, you played second. If you’ve ever been just kicking it with a dude before you were officially, hell, you don’t know what number you were. This is 2009, everyone a girl sleeps with is not always her man. Therefore, stop lying to yourself and acting snobby. You may have played 4th! NOW! A wiser thing to say would be, “If he belongs to me, I don’t take a number.” Why? Because now you are saying to men, if you are with me, you’re to be with me only. You are also telling females who commit to a man who’s coaching a team that you are the all-star or no star. Simple, right?
3. If he acts up, I’m gone.
Yeah okay. Only 6 months after you’ve been checking his phone records on the dialy, checking his MySpace, emails, and probing him for answers to your questions. You’re really not leaving that quick. Why front?
She didn’t know what passion was until she sat across from her new lover at lunch. She felt it when there was no space between them. Understood it when she told friends it wasn’t sex. It was love making. An affair that kept her legs crossed at the table.
Glancing at his sandwich. Slowing eating her soup. Their hands coming together – the way they did many times. He was talking. She was eating. Checking her phone for the time. Observing his facial expressions that pleaded with her. Love me. Believe me. Say you love me. (ctd)……
“Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.”
—Mark Twain
… couldn’t make me sleep with you again!
Honey have you ever had some sex that was just THAT bad! Homeboy isn’t even ugly. He’s fly for a southern guy, too. I ran into him in ATL (obviously) in a club. He was throwing compliments. He managed to say something like, “Let’s just leave here… I’m so ready… c’mon lil mama…” and gesture to leave. If you could have seen the shock and horror on my fave. How about HELL NO!
And he’s dripping in diamonds– per usual. I think his money gets him a pass in life. I really do. I actually referenced him in a few stories on here. My loyal readers will already know which.
Anyway, I was speaking to a friend (male) who was hating on my other friend (female) who was having a great night. She looked great. Do you know homie said to me, “I live too hard to ever sweat a soft n*gga.” I laughed. I mean, that was a good one. It was just unfortunate that my friend was just a FRIEND and played the insecure card as his trump. Womp.
All I could do was shake my head. He posted up, catching eyes from the ATL gold diggers. I laughed. I never met a b*tch a day in my life that made me feel insecure. Trying to get me jelly is like trying to sail a boat with a hole in it. It’s just not happening, play boy.
So I watched him walk away and all the girls tap and follow his walk. Dripping in diamonds catch attention. But I hate gaudy shit. “Having money” is a plus, but all the money in the world won’t shake the nightmare that IS your sex game.
Once upon a time, right?
Thats how all stories start that have come to an end.
Now, that’s what we have– a “Once upon a time”
Once upon a time you made me remember what it was like to blush. It’d been so long. You made me remember how it felt to want to fall asleep while on the phone with someone only to wake up and call them again. You made me revisit “cute and corny”— and like it. You know, all of that shit that I was so far removed from.
But that was once upon a time.
Quirks that I once thought were cute, I now wonder how I tolerated. Isn’t that always how it is, though? I look at pictures and see when I was so happy— when it was all good. Ha. “All good”. IT was GOOD. *giggles*
I can look back to then and know now why it didn’t work. It ended for the same reason I knew it would in the beginning. It was fun though, once upon a time.
I’ll never talk bad about you, or even employ some of the, what I call trivial and juvenile, tactics that you use when you no longer speak to someone. Nah, I wouldn’t do that. I won’t harp on what it wasn’t, especially when I know that I enjoyed all that it was… once upon a time.
New character, same story. He was the same type. My type? Ehh, a type I like.
He’s quiet. Reserved. Known, though— aren’t the quiet ones always [known]? How the hell did he even get on my radar? Honestly, it started off as just a joke. You know how girls talk sh*t. Yeah, all that. Even up-close and personal, it was still cool.
Something about a tilted brim.
Yeah… that’s what it was.
That, and the fact that he’s reserved.
I felt the need to ask questions.
“You better do your f*cking homework and see who you be talking all that shit to.”
Ha. But who does that? Whatever won’t pop up on Google is off limits. I don’t pass judgement through someone else’s eyes. People definitely gave their input. Some were star-gazing, others were curious, most didn’t know much. So still, to me, I knew nothing. I was cool with that.
“I’m not asking shit. What I see should be what I get right?”
He nodded, “Uhh huh.”
He didn’t say anything else.
*smirk* SMH. It’s always the quiet ones.
His demeanor got him casted. His mysteriousness makes him interesting. We’ll call him “Slim”.
Yes, Slim. He got me with the Air Max 95s and the tilted brim. 
Filed under: Are you pondering what I'm pondering
Sometimes when I go through ups and downs, I feel the need to keep it to myself. I’m a strong believer that people shouldn’t be able to tell whassup with you by reading Twitter or an AIM away message. Some people just tend to OVER-share.
Also, I am an impulsive tweeter and writer. I don’t want to share something that I’ll regret opening up about later. So, I waited until that funkiness shook from my shoulders. Though, I’m still grinding, I’m definitely good now.
Hey! to all of my new readers. I have soooo much to talk about. A gil found me on Twitter and said “I read your blog!!!” That felt good. It felt like I needed to get my thang together and bounce back.
I’ve said I was back before. Difference is, I’m serious now. =)
*cheez* With that said….
Filed under: Cool Breeze
YEARBOOK PHOTO!!!
We look like we go wayyyy back, don’t we??
We don’t. LOL…
We’re cool though. Oh, dude in the middle, remember him?
