Filed under: Yo... Who dat?
Did I ever ask if you like my new layout!!! Done by who else? Bean! That’s me in the background by the way. I stayed in Montreal for a little bit when I was living in Toronto. Being bored in this sexy hotel suite (Le Germain Montreal), I took pics. I really want to stay there again. Unfortunately, I’ve gained weight since then. My back doesn’t arch the same— working on that! **giggles** That’s NOT my bra, though. 
I’m thinking of getting another facelift. We’ll see. There’s so much I would like to do. We’ll see, though.
Filed under: Are you pondering what I'm pondering
I always wonder is it all about sex.
I knew people that frequent that topic. I’m not exactly a prude. I can’t really comment on their choice to not keep things to themselves. But who really discusses sex and makes sexual jokes– like all the time? Is that cool?
I don’t see it happen every where, it’s actually more focused. But it really makes me wonder, “why?” I’d rather not discuss it and just do it. No, I dont want you to know if I’m a freak or not. Does it matter if I’ve given head in traffic or f*cked on the roof of my car while parked on the side of the highway? I mean, why do you care unless you’re hitting it? Right?
Maybe some of you– particularly BlkBond– can provide insight. I guess what I’m trying to say is, females who do it, I think it’s terrible. If that were me, my friends would side-eye me SO hard. My cousin Sir Charles, who is great at popping up randomly and checking me, would send me a txt immediately saying “Always keep it cute and classy.” (Yes, I’m hood, everyone knows it, but raunchy? Never.) For men that do it, it makes me seriously doubt your sex game.
It’s like, are you really discussing this? #wheretheydothatat?
In the hood, you get side-eyed for thinking you’re better.
They roll their eyes when you tell stories.
Forward your Facebook pictures with snide comments to their friends.
They really want to see for themselves.
In the event that you try to expose them, it’s never enough.
Two’s company but three’s a crowd.
I can’t introduce me, you and your invisible best friend, the hater.
The the fuck do I have to prove?
The good are always taken too soon. You can’t imagine how it feels to wonder if you’ll be able to introduce your children to people you grew up with in person or through their obituaries. Also, how much it hurts to really need to cry with someone who’ll understand your loss and look around, realizing there’s no one left.
Rest in Peace.
Filed under: In My Mind
*sigh*
Here we are again. You’re trying to pull me back into this circle again. We have a beginning, but we have no purpose. We have a house built on a solid foundation but no family lives there.
Do you love me? You don’t love me. I bet you don’t even think you do. A love, such as our love cannot exist with something stronger to compare it to. This is where we get loose. We are the gray area. We are the null, the void, the undefined. But how then, do we get away with titles? His. Hers. Mine.
My world spins.
You don’t want to hear that I’m with this man. I don’t want to catch you with the next girl. We don’t belong to each other, though. This is unhealthy. We’re too deep and only doing the doggy paddle— Going no where. I tell you I can’t do this. I say that I need more. I want better than this. You tell me I’m stuck with you. Remind me not to forget.
Wrong. We need to forget. We need to fall back. We can’t live in the gray area forever. The light has shone on our darkness. People are looking. They know. They’re watching. You don’t care. Exhibition is ours. You don’t care what they hear, what they see. It’s no longer just us, just you and just me.
Don’t regret me. Don’t forget me. I ask you to let go. Just let me. We can’t live in the gray area forever, remember. We can’t ever be. There can’t always be a 1, 2, and 3. I don’t want that to be me.
We have to let go… especially… if can’t be each other’s only.
I just finished watching Janet’s interview on ABC.
Still flawless.
Still bad.
Still untouchable.
Can’t wait for her new.
Filed under: On a Serious Note...
Blog inspired by BlkBond.
Prelude:
I read his blog where he talked about dating a female, but being cool with her friends. Her friends also liked him too. He probably would have talked to thim after he was done with her. They all went to school together. Her “friends” came up to him, asking if he was involved with said female. They told him she was claiming him, telling everyone else he was off limits– hence throwing salt in his game because she was really feeling him. See, this is how he understood it. As a female, it just sounded to me like they were throwing shade. Some friends!
Females have a tendency to gush about someone who they’re feeling.
Even at a pleasant memory.
Is it true that in situations like a school setting if she’s gushing, she’s laying claim? Yes. In effect, by telling a group of “Friends” that you are feeling someone, explaining what you like about that person, you are telling them that you’re interested. It has become more than a crush to you. You may not be saying, “Don’t talk to him.” However, in reality, real friends aren’t supposed to talk to someone you like, anyway. Real friends, would just fall back. Even if they have been liking him since freshman (Bond, I know you’re in Law school) year, they would fall back.
In my circle, if my friend even winks first, then it’s all her. If she gushes, we get excited for her… even if he is so sexy we wish we’d have spoken first. Even if we see him at the same time, but she happens to gesture first. Believe me, there have been men that my friends have dated that look extremely good. But REAL FRIENDS are happy for their friend. Do we still talk about how good he looks? Of course! But… you leave it there.
Well… REAL FRIENDS do.
Filed under: In My Mind
Like a $50.00 tip over 50%. I wanna be tippin’ because of you.
Feels so good while you’re having it, but so bad for your health.
I try not to be swayed by public opinion. I learned long ago to stay to myself. To stay out of the streets. I used to stay by a corner dice game. Stay laid back in the passenger seat. Now, I stay home. I threw my towel in.
It was fast. It was bumpy. I enjoyed it.
I’d be lying if I said, “I didn’t enjoy the ride”. However when the walls start to crumble, when characters are written out of the script, when too many extras are casted and when the boat is sinking; you can only looked out for one person— yourself. I needed to look out for me, FIRST. It needed to be about me and only one person was willing to do that. I was living your tale. The plot was centered around you. I needed to be more than a supporting actress even if I am the one nominated for the Oscar.
So I left the house before the walls fell, my character made a discreet exit from the screenplay, and I jumped off of the boat. You were killing me. I was dying. I saved myself. I went away. I watched from a far.
Why?
At the end of the day, I realized. Where I need to be, I simply just not where you are.
Filed under: Let me spit this pimpin
Besides. You better know how to eat, before you even think to ask to be fed.
Filed under: Ladies Moment, Let me spit this pimpin, On a Serious Note...
So I’m on Twitter. I love when females get self-righteous on Twitter. It can be disheartening when they are unrealistically adament about their point. So, I’ve composed a list of a 5 things females need to stop lying to themselves about.
1. I don’t share men.
This is a lie. You can only make that statement if you are positive that you have never ever been cheated on. If you have, you have shared. Period. Especially, if you forgave him. Some will say, “No he was mine, she just got to use him…” or something of the sort. Lil Mama, you shared. You may not have liked it. You may not do it willingly, but you do. So shut up and/or rephrase your motivational speech so that you’re keeping it 100. Thanks.
2. I don’t play 2nd.
This is the BIGGEST lie of them all. If you have ever fucked a man with a girl, you played second. If you’ve ever been just kicking it with a dude before you were officially, hell, you don’t know what number you were. This is 2009, everyone a girl sleeps with is not always her man. Therefore, stop lying to yourself and acting snobby. You may have played 4th! NOW! A wiser thing to say would be, “If he belongs to me, I don’t take a number.” Why? Because now you are saying to men, if you are with me, you’re to be with me only. You are also telling females who commit to a man who’s coaching a team that you are the all-star or no star. Simple, right?
3. If he acts up, I’m gone.
Yeah okay. Only 6 months after you’ve been checking his phone records on the dialy, checking his MySpace, emails, and probing him for answers to your questions. You’re really not leaving that quick. Why front?
